To get a second chance with your ex you need to understand why they left. In many cases, it will be because your ex was no longer prepared or able to tolerate certain behaviours.
If this applies to your break up, you need to accept this. You need to identify what those behaviours were and avoid them, permanently and for real. A superficial show – verbal promises that “I’ve changed” – is not enough for your ex.
For one thing, your ex won’t believe you. No one changes fundamental aspects of themselves overnight. For your ex to even consider giving you a second chance they need to believe that change is real and lasting.
You need to be able to provide solid proof to your ex that you are making a genuine effort to change and be a better you. For instance, reading books, researching for help online, taking classes or even therapy. The only way you can do this is if you do are in fact making a genuine effort to change. If you really want a second chance with your ex you will be more than willing to do this.
For another, if you somehow manage to get a second chance through the mere appearance of change it will not be enough to keep you together. When the same old problems rear their ugly head again – and you can be sure they will – your ex will leave again. They will feel tricked, betrayed and foolish. Again, you’ll be saying, “I want my ex back.” But you had your chance and blew it.
There is a third reason, over and above getting a second chance with your ex, to make a genuine change: for your own sake. The emotions and behaviours that caused problems with your ex are likely to affect other aspects of your life too. For instance, jealousy stems from insecurity and low self-esteem which may, in a subtle way, be causing problems at work, or in relationships with friends and siblings.
By dealing with negative behaviours and emotions for your own sake you will end up with a healthier, happier and more attractive you – someone who is far more likely to get a second chance with their ex, and get them back for keeps. Your ex will have more respect for you and your efforts than if they were simply part of a master plan to get a second chance.
