A key step toward getting your ex boyfriend back is to answer the big question: “why did my boyfriend break up with me?” Perhaps your boyfriend gave you no explanation at all. Perhaps he gave you an “official” reason but you suspect there is more to it than that.
Either way, it’s essential to know the real reasons your boyfriend decided to break up so you can put things right.
To help you figure out the truth here’s what ex boyfriends say are the top reasons why men break up with women.
Reasons like “cheating” or “different values” are not included here because they apply equally to men and women. Try to be completely honest about which may or may not apply to you.
Top Reasons Why Boyfriends Break Up
Nagging drives men nuts – and often right out of a relationship. But it’s not necessarily all your fault. Nagging can be a symptom of fundamental differences in the way men and women communicate. It’s fixable, once you admit it’s a fault.
The big sister of nagging, manipulation ranges from “the silent treatment” to withholding sex. It’s emotional and sexual blackmail designed to make men do things they don’t want to do. Ultimately many boyfriends decide they don’t want to stick around for the next torture session.
To feel admired and adored ranks very high on men’s relationship wish lists. The less a relationship delivers, thanks to non-stop, nit-picking criticism, the less men value it. The more likely they are to look for the “feel good factor” elsewhere.
Being compared to other men
Many boyfriends say they got sick and tired of being told they’re a “typical man” or what a “real man” would say and do. Guys want to be treated as real-life individuals with unique strengths and failings, not constantly compared to someone that isn’t them.
She tried to change me
Just about every man can tell a tale of “the girlfriend who tried to change me” – and in very case she’s an ex girlfriend. When a man feels the “real him” is no longer welcome in a relationship, breaking up is (eventually) the only option for a guy with half-an-ounce of self-respect.
When looks go downhill and new (and not so attractive) behaviors emerge, guys don’t like it. Either you think you’ve got them hooked, don’t care any more or were never really the person they thought you were. Whatever the reason, many boyfriends break up because, quite simply, their girlfriend is no longer the attractive woman they signed up for.
Difficult behaviors, from child-like neediness to irrational suspicions and jealous rages are a big problem for guys. They are opposite to the qualities men find attractive. Men don’t like them and don’t understand them. And when nothing they do makes a difference, sensible boyfriends do the sensible thing – they break up and hope their girlfriends eventually get help.
Not feeling loved
Guys complain that girls seem to forget that (a) men need to feel loved and appreciated in a relationship too, and that (b) they are not into assuming that they are loved. Boyfriends need actual words and actions – ideally in public! – that make it plain as day, but are often disappointed.
Too much/too little involvement
Boyfriends like their space but they like togetherness too – and too often girlfriends fail to strike the right balance. Either they interfere with important friendships and interests or show no interest at all in the things their man loves.
Lack of passion
When intimacy fizzles out with no sign of improvement guys are naturally concerned what it means, not only for their sex life but the relationship. Like nagging, sexual differences are often a communication problem. With no explanation, men can only assume the worst – you’re simply not interested any more, in them or sex. Why stick around?
What These Break Up Reasons Add Up to
Hopefully you have gained some insights into the real reasons for the break up, and learned something else, too. That is, that the top reasons why boyfriends break up are behaviors rather than specific incidents. Or in other words, incidents are often just an excuse.
Looking at the big picture, these behaviors add up to four types of girlfriend that boyfriends don’t like, and just a hint of similarity may have been enough to drive him away. If you feel you’re not a match for any of them, think of things from your boyfriend’s point of view. It’s what you seemed to be that counts!
It’s no fun being brutally honest but identifying the real causes of your break up is a key step to making up. With some solid clues about why your boyfriend decided to break up with you, you are in a good position to prove to your ex you can change.
For an overview of all the steps, see our Action Plan to Get Your Ex Back. And for a complete, in-depth step-by-step plan, consider the best “get your ex back” ebooks which include plans to get a boyfriend back.
An original Break Up Reasons article by Molly Laws, exclusive to this site!
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