Holding back and resisting the temptation to call or text your ex is a key strategy to get your ex back. The question is does it work – does no contact work to get your ex back?
The answer is yes and no.
On the “Yes” side, having no contact with your ex for a certain amount of time will give your ex space and time to figure out what they really feel about you, and life without you.
In particular, to discover (perhaps to their surprise) how much they miss you as good memories resurface and problems to fall into perspective.
In short, the longer you wait before you contact your ex the better the chance they will welcome your contact. In fact, they may be on tenterhooks waiting for you to call or text. At the very least, you will not be setting yourself up for a brutal rejection by contacting them when their emotions are still running high.
On the “No” side, having no contact with your ex for too long and/or not intending to make contact first,period, can backfire.
If your ex knows you are anxious to get back together (and they most likely do) continuing to have no contact with them beyond a natural period of time will make a poor impression. At best, it will strike them as foolish, stubborn and essentially dishonest that you are not pursuing what you want – to get them back. At worst, they will start to doubt whether you do in fact want to get back together.
If your ex has (or has started to have) half an inkling that they would like to get back together too, rising doubts about your true feelings and intentions will make them guarded and defensive. As time passes – as you continue to have no contact beyond a reasonable amount of time – your ex will start to feel rejected and foolish themselves, and resent you for it.
In others words, with a certain amount of no contact your chances with your ex go up. Pass a certain point and they go down.
The lesson here is that having no contact with your ex works – to a point. It needs to be reasonable and make the right impression and this is achieved by having no contact for a limited amount of time.
Get advice on when to contact your ex and set a rough date. In the meantime, keep your distance but also keep the lines of communication open. Your ex needs to know that you welcome contact if they choose to make the first move.