If you want to know how to get your ex back after you have cheated it is a good sign that you probably deserve a second chance. Serial cheats and other selfish manipulative types don’t need any help. They’ve had plenty of practice talking and charming their way out of tricky situations.
For those of you who do need help, knowing how to get an ex back is one thing. Knowing how to get your ex back after you cheated is another.
Some of the key strategies for getting an ex back, whatever the reason for a break up, are especially important after cheating. Others should be avoided altogether – they will make your situation worse.
Here are the critical do’s and don’ts of how to get an ex back after you have cheated. Keep them in mind when reading advice aimed at all comers, to stay on the right track to getting your ex back.
1. Accept it may take a long time to get your ex back
Do the right things and you can get your ex back after you cheated but be prepared for it to take some time. You face a greater challenge than people who have broken up for more common reasons, such as an argument that got out of control.
2. Keep your distance
It is essential to give an ex space after breaking up. It is absolutely vital after cheating. However desperate you are to communicate, resist. For some time you will be the last person your ex wants any contact with. Respect this. Your ex knows how you feel and needs longer than usual to figure out how they feel.
3. Accept your punishment
Your ex has been deeply hurt (to say the least) and will want to hurt you back. The best way they know how is to make you feel that there is no chance you will ever get them back (even if there is). They may flirt with others, look better than ever. However they choose to punish you, avoid knee jerk reactions. Understand that your ex needs to make you suffer – it’s part of their healing process.
4. Be honest about how you feel
Part of the usual advice on how to get an ex back is, control your emotions. Sometimes it’s even a good idea to keep them guessing about your true feelings. If you have cheated, this is a dangerous strategy. It is important that your ex knows how you really feel. Don’t overdo it but don’t be tempted to act cool like losing your ex is no big deal. If asked, be honest about how much you regret cheating on your ex and want them back. Word gets around…
Need to say sorry to your ex … for Cheating? You face a bigger challenge than most to get your ex to forgive you.
Get the extra help you need with the Clean Slate Method – a formula for success when you apologize to your ex… even after you have cheated.
5. Understand what your ex feels
After you have cheated it is not enough to apologize for what you have done. Learn what it really feels like to be cheated on. Your ex will want evidence that you fully understand the impact of your cheating – what you have put them through. Your apology will mean little without it.
6. Behave yourself
To get your ex back after cheating you must be squeaky clean and play safe. No flirting, no one-night stands on the rebound. Risky but often recommended tactics like using jealousy to get your ex back are a big no-no. It must be obvious to everyone (spies included) that you are interested in one person only – your ex. Your self-control, even when you have opportunities to misbehave, will help convince your ex that you are unlikely to cheat again – absolutely critical to get them back. If you really can’t behave or want to go wild and forget your problems for a night, do it somewhere your ex isn’t likely to find out about it.
7. Be persistent
It’s pretty much guaranteed that your ex will prolong the break up long after they have decided (and perhaps hinted) that they are willing to at least think about getting back together. This is partly to prolong your punishment but it’s also a critical commitment test. Your persistence is the only reliable measure your ex has of how sorry you are and how much you want them back. Make sure you pass.
8. Do not make excuses for cheating
When you have contact with your ex don’t even think about making an excuse for cheating, however persuasive you think it is. An excuse will not earn forgiveness and will seriously provoke your ex. It implies a hope that they will understand and accept what you have done. They won’t. The key to forgiveness is not an excuse – it’s remorse.
9. Be romantic
Although a decent period of no contact with your ex is essential, at some point (but no earlier than a month or two after your break up) the time may be right for a romantic gesture or two. Do not overdo it. The purpose is simply to let your ex know that they are uppermost in your thoughts – that you love and miss them – with no explanations or expectations attached. Let the romance of the gesture – the flowers, poem, etc. – speak for itself.
10. Don’t despair
Remind yourself that the key to how to get your ex back after you have cheated is persistence. While there may seem to be no change – no encouraging signs at all – the longer you hang in there, the better your chances are becoming.
Finally, consider a step-by-step plan
Books on how to get your ex back – complete strategies – are particularly recommended if you have cheated. Not only do they provide detailed step-by-step guidance that will keep you on track – you can’t afford to make mistakes – the best books provide actual timelines too. Knowing exactly what you should be doing when can help you stay the course. And with a structured approach to getting your ex back, the end seems not only achievable but nearer in sight.
An original Tips to Get Your Ex Back article by Molly Laws, exclusive to this site!
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